Author Archives: koxan

Unearthing The Woman In Me.


As far as first impressions go the most common word to describe me is daggy. This probably would bother most people a lot more than it bothers me. I have never been fashionable and very rarely feminine, for numerous reasons:

– it seems expensive,

– it seems time consuming,

– feminine is almost a completely foreign term to me,

– it seems like hard work,

– I don’t have the figure for a lot of the clothes that I do yearn for,

– I never had anyone to teach me, and never thought to teach myself.

These are a few of the reasons that spring to mind. I am a very awkward person by nature. No matter what task I am working on, there is normally an easier and or quicker way to tackle it. When my mother passed when I was age 10, the thought of trying to tackle fashion, make up and all things girly terrified me. And for the next 15 years not having a mother seemed like a fitting reason for being a dag by nature. If being a dag bothered me on a grand scale I may have tried to overcome this. But it only gets to be me from time to time. I am definitely the type of girl that would choose comfort over glamour on almost everyday of the week. Its those days where you want to spruce yourself up and put a bit of pep in your step that I wish it all came easier.

It seems absurd, but it only recently occurred to me just how valuable the internet can be for teaching yourself new things…go figure. Surely I must have known this before now, but I don’t think it ever occured to me that the monumental task of learning what works for me and experimenting in all things girly isn’t so monumental with the help of the internet. Whilst pregnant earlier this year I stumbled onto Bleubird through her pregnancy series, from there Delightfully Tacky and from there more recently A Beautiful Mess. The 3 ladies running these blogs I consider to be super stylish, but also I don’t know from the parts they share on their blogs they seem down to earth and the time they invest in themselves makes them feel good. If the flow on effect is there, looking good > feeling good > life’s good, then it seems like its about time I start teaching myself. I also recently discovered 3 super cool things… seriously I must be living under a rock. Chictopia, Pinterest (discovered today haha) and vast array of beauty and hair tutorials on Youtube….these all seem like useful tools to learn from… Must remember not to waste my whole day browsing though.

The first thing I have decided to tackle on my inner goddess journey is my hair. For the first time in 25 years I am able to say I am pretty fortunate to have the hair that I do. I have thick curly brown hair. I have hated it for the entirety of my life, except I looked super cute in many baby photos. Its thick and too hot to wear down in the tropics, its often been very unmanageable and time consuming and I definitely have no skill in regards to different hairstyles. I have had it chemically straightened when I was 15, that didn’t really do much for me. I had dreads at 18, which ruined my Goldilocks ringlets forever, but I am still happy with he curls I have now. I actually thought dreads would be low maintenance, I was wrong. They were done at the hairdresser, so they were clean, but the products I used to continue to dread them just left my head continually itchy so they had to go.  Since then I am on a continuous cycle of growing it out and then chopping it off because its too hot and I want something low maintenance. I rarely looked nice with short hair however because I never invested the time or the money into getting it cut regularly and keeping it looking good. But back on track, my hair eventually recovered from the dreads and I am fortunate enough to have nice curls if I let my hair dry naturally.  Right now I am typing with my hair wrapped in a t shirt, which this week I learned was plopping. I am also on the hunt for a decent deep moisturising conditioner because my hair is in some desperate need of TLC. My hair is shoulder length, I can’t wait for it to grow a little longer so I can try out a few things. But right now here are some links to hair related awesomeness.

A stylish an easy updo I have just about mastered. Found here via Frankie


These adorable d.i.y hair combs found here via Freckled Nest. I recently purchased some hair combs but think I need the larger size since my hair is so thick I have trouble wiggling them in to sit flat against my head. But once I got this down pat this will surely be my next step.



And lastly I stumbled across this tutorial today when I discovered Elsie’s Pinterest account via her blog.



I have one wornout headband that I am going to try this with tonight. And see if I can wake up with slightly more glamorous curls. Wish me luck, and feel free to share any tips or links you may have found for luscious curly locks.


The List Maker


I often wonder whether other people get wrapped up in their internal dialogue as much as I do. Its so easy and so draining. Too many lists, wishes, should be doings, and not enough action. But sitting here writing about it still isn’t actually taking action is it. I am a list maker. I saw the movie The Bucket List and then proceeded to write  an extensive bucket list of my own. I  proceeded to scour the internet for ideas for my bucket list so I don’t leave off anything exciting. I was so focused on making the list, when the whole idea is to be focused on the time you take for granted in life and to actually get out there and live.

I then stumbled across a site 101 Things to do in 1001 Days which appealed to me a little more because of the set time frame. Needless to say I did the same thing with this list. I am currently on my 3rd attempt at one of these lists. The first attempt was a complete flop. The second was heading that way, but I abandoned that list and wrote a new one when my life come to a road block earlier in the year and the number one task on that list was no long capable of happening. Heartbreak ensued and a new list was needed to pull me out of the hole I was slowly digging for myself. This list was started in June and currently I have completed 7 tasks and in progress with 9 others. That seems above average for me so that’s a start.

When browsing blogs I recently came across the birthday list, and decided to make one of these as well. It features mostly tasks to focus on off my bigger list, which probably means I should just stick to the first list. I have also started to write a list of the top 10 things I would like to have achieved before I die.

So I think it is clear I most certainly am a list maker. But I do not believe I am a list doer. Too much time is spent sitting around waiting, wasting the seconds, waiting for the perfect conditions to start something.. energetic, not tired, not too hot, a clean space, enough spare time to get it completed, no distractions i.e. kids.  It’s so easy to let the seconds slip away completely unaware, until the end of the night when your laying in bed wondering where the day went and what on earth did you accomplish.  And with that I guess this post did serve a purpose as a small pep talk I am off to enjoy a hot coffee and to clean some of the clutter around my home that squashes any daily motivation before I have a chance to even get going.